You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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