I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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