I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
