Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
