You're so nebulous sometimes
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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