YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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