piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
