its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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