I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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