Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
