his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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