But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
