then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Randomize
