The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
