google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
