Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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