apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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