If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
