I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
