For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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