Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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