Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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