Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
