So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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