Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
