TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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