All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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