Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
