You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
