A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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