You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
