Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
