A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
