dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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