why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
