my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
