then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
