YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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