He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
