Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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