I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
