She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
