it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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