he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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