do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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