i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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