wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize