She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
