benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
