OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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