the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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