im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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