Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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