sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
