and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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