What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Jerry, you need to find god
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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