Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
