she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize