dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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