I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
