They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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