dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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