She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
