Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
